Livin’ that low bar lyfe

I have expressed it before and I’ll say it again: I might be married to an idiot savant. He can explain in depth disease processes and philosophy theories, but he also recently asked me where one buys stamps….

I’m not sure how much of this is him and how much is society’s low expectations of men who achieve highly in certain realms. As I’ve told other friends these stories about my genius spouse missing the most common sense, basic life management principles, I’ve learned that he’s not the only one who can’t seem to get it together.

G told me:

“I’ve been to guys houses with dishes sitting in a dying rack and a load of towels in the washer and I’m like dayyyyuuuum!”

The first year Spouse and I were together during tax season he said “oh, taxes. Is that something I should be doing?” and I thought “oh you beautiful idiot. I will take care of you.” PUKE. In my defense, I was 22 and experiencing the equivalent of ecstasy in my veins from *LOVE*.

This year, tax season is coming up and Spouse has said he will do our taxes. We’ve talked endlessly about how I unfairly managed every aspect of our practical lives our whole marriage. So, the taxes would go a long way. But I am skeptical of his ability to manage it. We have a date tonight. If he manages to file our taxes today, I swear to god I will fuck his brains out. 

But. This is a low bar. Like, if my partner does something that everyone has to fucking do that I have been doing for us both for YEARS, I am going to be extremely impressed. Um. WHAT?

I’m not the only 20 something who has been partnered with a manchild and therefore lives that #lowbarlyfe.

G also said:

“Oh one time I went to this guy’s house and we were going hot tubbing and not only were his towels clean but they were folded in a cupboard. We fucked.”

How did our expectations of the men around us drop SO MUCH?

When I was dating Barista, he’d wake up before me and clean his kitchen and I’d be like “wow, he’s really got it together”. *eye roll*. I told my therapist this once she noted that I was living that #lowbarlyfe. It should not be impressive to us when men we date do the BARE MINIMUM of life management.

We should not get dripping panties when a guy says “I’ve got to go to the store to buy more body wash.” But alas, here we are. Looking for men who can do basic things like pay the rent on time and keep their spaces relatively clean.

L says:

“It’s very difficult to hook a guy with good hygiene and a design sense.

This may be the new feat for the modern woman.”

Agreed, L, agreed.


One thought on “Livin’ that low bar lyfe

  1. Omg. This! My husband consistently made me lower the bar further and further. In fact, he used my loss of respect for him as his reason for having an emotional affair – I lost respect for him because he didn’t pay his medical bills for TWO YEARS and we were being threatened with a law suit. Why didn’t he pay them? *Shrug.* He didn’t even have a reason. One of the best parts about ending our marriage is finding men (two, thanks very much) who are adults fully capable of managing their households. I admit I find it dead sexy. I’m never lowering that bar again!!


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