I ended up at Spouse’s last night, crying on the ground. I told him about Filmmaker and how I had conflated them and as I sobbed I told him I was angry that he hadn’t held up his end of our marital bargain.
So after I collapsed to the ground after having told him I’m angry that he wasn’t the partner he had promised to be, he got me a xanax, a blanket and sat down and held my head in his lap. I quietly sobbed while he stroked my hair and said, “there, there, it’s going to be OK”.
I needed that. I didn’t need a conversation at that moment, I just needed to be heard and held. I fell asleep easily and soundly next to him on the other side of our gigantic king sized bed and for once, he actually put on his goddam nose strips to keep the snoring down.