Feathers and I had to cancel our date last week because a few big things have come up in his various jobs and with one of his other partners that is requiring a lot of his attention. Our relationship is so new, I didn’t mind at all. But I’d been checking in on him and sending him funny memes all week to hopefully keep him smiling.
Tonight he texted me and it was clear he was not OK. His anxiety was high and it was turning into physical pain, lack of sleep, etc. As someone with years of experience with panic attacks, I gave him a call to try and talk him through it. Fortunately, I am in a pretty good emotional place these days so I felt like I could be a support for him. We decided he would come to my house to try to relax and just rub one another.
Feathers is the most sensual person I am seeing. He likes to feel things and experience them fully, eyes open. He tried to make me a perfume and it didn’t turn out, so he brought me a Cooper’s Hawk feather instead. He has a large collection of feathers, so the gesture was very nice.
We enjoyed some relaxing substances and listened to Monster Rally and laid in bed rubbing one another. Feathers often rubs me when we spend time together. And I rub him. It turned into an hour of partly massaging one another, partly making out and getting a little handsy in a sexy way. It was lovely and we both came away from it calm and relaxed.
At the end of the evening, he shared a piece of intimate information about his past. It felt nice to know he’s beginning to trust me. Then he geeked out on all the things he’s read about the topic since. A friend of his calls him “data” because he loves to read and retains information extremely well. It’s wonderful to be around a curious person like that.
Before he left, I told him that I am in a stable enough emotional place that I can be a support for him in his somewhat precarious position and he thanked me, said he may need more of that and promised not to make it a habit. This is something that comes up in nonmonogamy, figuring out how appropriate it is to divulge and trust in one partner when things in another relationship feel stressful. It can turn into one person being simply a place to dump emotional discomfort. I think the fact that we talked about it already in this way is a good sign, though we’ll see how it plays out in practice.
He didn’t tell me specifics and I didn’t ask, though I would listen if he felt it was appropriate to share. But it felt nice to offer someone I am beginning to care for a little respite. I hope that if I am having a moment like that as some time that one of my partners will offer the same to me.
So now I’m in bed, looking at this funny feather that smells like him and beginning to doze off.
It’s been a successful week of ethical nonmonogamy and I’ve got a date with a new guy tomorrow night and a sex date with Chef later on in the weekend. More on him later. 😉 For now, it’s bed for me. Going to try a morning yoga class tomorrow.